"Life ain't all that good."

Unconditional love .....

As a horizontally challenged American, I am constantly reminded by everyone, and everything around me, that I should not be comfortable with who I am or how I look.

To add insult to injury, I am made to feel lazy and slovenly by stupid reality programs.

Sure, I could lose 100 pounds if I was permitted to leave my practice, get away from my family, have a personal trainer that works only with me 24/7, and have all of my meals prepared by a professional chef who can make tofu and kale sound scrumptious and sinful! Oh yeah, and I did not have to foot the bill for any of this!

Stupid shows make it look even easier than it every could be to "just stop being fat."

So, I plod along in constant paranoia that my bulging middle might appear anonymously in some local news piece about obesity. You know, the insulting stock footage they all use just to show how Americans are fat.

Then there are those without real weight issues who constantly bemoan how hard it is to stay thin. The are constantly saying in front of my glorious mass how fat they think they are.

These assholes make me so mad I just want to sit on their damn chest and choke the living shit out of them.

Listen you stupid waif, just because you weigh 115pounds now, and you weighed 101 in high school 20 years ago, YOU ARE NOT MORBIDLY OBESE.

So, I decided to try and do something about it that might casue a radical change in my appearance.

Oh, you're probably wanting to know when I was going to get to that "unconditional love" stuff?

Well, last night, my six year old became visibly upset when she heard about it. She was not dismayed by the fear of surgery, or the pain that I might experience.

No, she gave me the greatest demonstration of love I have ever witnessed.

"Daddy, you are perfect just the way that you are. You won't look like my Daddy anymore. I won't recognize you."

Well, I won't lie, I get all misty just typing this text. Despite everything that society does to make me embarassed about my weight, my littlest girl let me know that I am A-OK, Number One in her book.

Now, I'll still try to do what needs to be done, but I am going to do it so I can be around for all three of my girls.

I am going to do what it takes to be around for a long time so I can prove to my girls that Daddy is the man they believe he is in this world.

I am going to do it to unconditionally love them.

This Lent thing is already killing me ....

So, for Lent I decided to give up posting relevant rants about political issues.

Recently my wife and sisters-in-law encouraged both my mother and my mother-in-law to each join the Facebook community. Well, obviously I could not "ignore" the request from the woman who gave life to me, and therefore I have my Mom as one of my FB friends. (it was unanimously decided between myself, my spouse, and my father-in-law that, for the sake of all that was Holy and good in the Universe, my mother-in-law not be able to read my postings) I was disturbed then when recently I inquired as to whether my dearest Mom followed my humorous postings, only to discover that she did indeed "read my rants."

So, I started thinking that I did spend an good bit of my verbiage to complain about politics and the stupidity that I would read. Perhaps I had become too attached to the ability to vent publicly? With this new insight in hand, I decided I had my Lenten vow.

Well, now I find myself frustrated!!!

I never realized how liberating it was to stand on the "virtual steps" of the "online" version of the Roman Forum and scream my opinions to all that would listen. Hell, I even enjoyed a bit of "stir the pot" just to get people involved and commenting to my posts. I was having fun seeing all of the interest that my words and opinions (however liberal, conservative, or just plain perverse) could generate.

I find myself voluntarily muzzled for the last 48 hours.

I have several times concocted poignant points, only to remember that, damn, I have to keep them to myself!?!?!

So, I will seek to persevere in this continuing sacrificial endeavor for the remaining days and nights.

Really, this may have been the hardest Lenten sacrifice?

Dumbass, I should've just stuck with giving up chocolate (again)!!!